<insert drum solo>

Now look at them yoyos (that’s the way you do it)
Got fiberoptics from their ISP
That ain’t crawlin’ (that’s the way you do it)
Fiber to the home and version 6 IP

Now that ain’t crawlin’ (that’s the way you do it)
Let me tell you them guys ain’t dumb
Maybe run a server in your basement closet
Maybe go to work with a click of your thumb

We got to use ole DSL modems
A couple megs for a f**kin huge fee
We got to NAT all of our connections
We got to use that older IP

That little asian with the server and the markup
All comfy sittin in his lair
That little asian he got gigabit access
That little asian he got speed to spare

We got to pay for static addressin’
A tiny subnet for a f**kin huge fee
We got no speed for file sharin’
We got a shrinkin’ pool of IPs

Lookatthat, lookatthat
I should’ve moved to Scandinavia
I should’ve moved to Asia
Where they got fiber, stickin it in every home
Man, can I have some?
And who’s there? What’s that? Video conference?
Runnin it at 30 frames in HD!
Oh, that ain’t crawlin’ (that’s the way you do it)
Fiber to the home and version 6 IP

We got to pay for cable that’s crawlin’
Telco’s chargin’ us f**kin’ huge fees
We got a trickle that’s called our upstream
Got no bandwidth symmetry

Listen here
Now that ain’t crawlin’ (that’s the way you do it)
Get fiberoptics from your ISP
That ain’t crawlin’ (that’s the way you do it)
Fibre to the home and version 6 IP

That ain’t crawlin’